Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
