I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I know her cup size but not her name....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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