i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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