My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
