Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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