so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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