Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
