I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize