Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize