does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
