I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
