We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
