Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We got so high we made milksteak
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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