nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
