i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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