I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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