also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
