Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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