Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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