I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
