didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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