The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
