He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
