i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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