I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
