I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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