Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
