so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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