Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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