I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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