He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize