So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
