its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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