Banned from zoo.
Again?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
