so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize