I understand Curling. That high.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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