they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
