I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
