He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize