question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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