she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
