Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
