Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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