and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
