I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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