Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
