i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
