i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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