i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
