it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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