im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I smell stomach acid.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
