Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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