WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
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How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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