Having a random hookup so left but love u
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
