super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
